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Monday, December 9, 2019

M³ Pretty Boy

So Persephone has the chest, and Aphrodite expects her not to open it, but we all know what happens when you give a box to someone in mythology: they open it. Okay, yes, Pandora didn’t open a box, she opened a jar, but we all know what we meant. Besides, squeezing an infant into a jar is just not practical.
On finding the boy, she raises him to manhood, which means Aphrodite has been gone for a while or the kid grows freakishly fast. After he’s a man, Persephone takes him on as her lover. Yeah, it’s kind of awkward, isn’t it? Even though Persephone is in no way related to him, she still raised him. So now we have a pseudo-incestuous relationship, here. Remember the side effects of parenting according to mythology? Yeah.
Anyway, Aphrodite finds out about this, and wants the kid back because she wanted Adonis for the same reason.
Does anyone else hear David Lee Roth’s cover of “Just A Gigolo / I Ain’t Got Nobody”? Just me? Well, okay then.
So Adonis’s only value to these two goddesses is for his body. It gets so bad that the matter actually goes to trial. Now, Zeus is a smart cookie, as we’ve seen, and what we’ve got here is a court case between two of his daughters, arguing over the man with whom they wish to cheat on their husbands with. Yeah, no way he’s going to get into that one.
He transfers the case (which is something he does quite frequently) to another court. Judge Calliope (of the Muses) gets jurisdiction. She more or less goes the Solomon route, here, dividing the year into thirds so that each goddess gets four months and Adonis gets time to himself, which I thought was considerate of Calliope to think that the guy might want some time to, you know, live his own life.
We are dealing with gods, though, and no story can end that simply. Aphrodite cheats.

Friday, December 6, 2019

F³ Powerful Memories

Mildred let me have a few gingerbread men. I passed a couple to Mikey’s mom as I returned to my seat. She had calmed Mikey’s sister into sleep on her shoulder. She mouthed a thank you to me and I smiled back. I set my remaining reward cookies on the tray table while I buckled in. Ellie was typing away at the laptop again.

Monday, December 2, 2019

M³ Stashed Away

So, yeah, it’s weird being born from a tree. But it’s Greek myth, what’re you going to do? As stated before, Aphrodite feels a bit responsible for the death of Smyrna, so she took the baby and locked him in a box. Perfectly normal thing to do, right? Mythologies around the world agree that this produces perfectly well-adjusted people, so you can throw away your parenting manuals.
Please don’t follow the advice of mythology on parenting.

Friday, November 29, 2019

F³ A History of Decapitation

I left Ellie, reluctantly because she still stared at the seat, for the front row that Amanda guided me to. There Mildred and Mikey were still working.

Monday, November 25, 2019

M³ Atypical Godly Feeling

So, there’s a baby born from a tree, whose name happens to be Adonis. Yes, the very good-looking Adonis, and we will get to the details of that particular story soon. Before that, though, we have to examine something very curious. After Adonis is born, “Aphrodite, already repenting of the mischief that she had made, concealed Adonis in a chest.”

Friday, November 22, 2019

F³ Sequence Break

“I haven’t been happy at home, much less happy during the holidays. It just seems so much more stressful, now,” she said.
“Was it always that way?”

Monday, November 18, 2019

M³ Love Is in The Air

Never, ever, ever boast about a trait or skill as being better than one of the gods. It’s a lesson that apparently bears repeating despite having been through this before. Unfortunately, the wife of King Cinryas boasted that her daughter, Smyrna, was more beautiful than Aphrodite.

Friday, November 15, 2019

F³ Fast Forward

“Holidays are tough. Leastways that’s what the modern image is, you know?” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“That it’s dysfunctional. People get together to supposedly have a good time, but there are fights or just nothing ever works out. It can never be Norman Rockwell, so it might as well be a sitcom of disasters.”

Monday, November 11, 2019

M³ Close Still Counts

Okay, so the thunderbolt was deflected, but that’s okay. Like with horseshoes, hand grenades, and tactical nuclear weapons, close counts with thunderbolts. The thunderbolt travels through the ground and hits Anchises that way. It doesn’t kill him, but it weakens his legs to the point he can’t stand on his own any more. He has been struck lame, even worse than Hephaestus.

Friday, November 8, 2019

F³ Matters of Lovemaking

“I’m always tired. Lately, just going home makes me more tired. There was one trip where I purposely extended the trip just so I wouldn’t have to go home, right away. I needed the extra day in a hotel just to rest because I knew when I went home we would get in a fight.