F3 A Different Title

     "Samuel Faraday," the King intoned. I'd never heard someone intone before, but the way his voice lingered in the Great Hall, well, that was intoning. "For your services to the Crown, you shall be made a Knight—"
     "Um!" I began "begging your pardon, Majesty?"
     The King, completely unused to being interrupted, paused, and looked around at the others, who were aghast and even more confused.
     "You wish to speak?"
     "Yes. I just have a little something to say. See, being a knight really isn't my thing. It's not what I do."
     "Are you saying that you would refuse the title?"
     "That particular title, yes. See, if I'm a knight, then I would have to go questing, rescuing maidens, and slaying monsters. I'm just not built for it. I would collapse if I had to wear all that armor and swing a sword. Not to mention people would challenge me to a duel, and then I'd be dead."
     "What is it that you are saying?"
     "Well, I guess that if the only way to thank me is to make me a knight, then thanks, but not thanks. I'm fine like I am."
     "I cannot fail to reward your service. I could grant you a different title of nobility, complete with lands."
     "I wouldn't know what to do with them. I'm not a lord, or anything. I'm a detective, a gumshoe, a shamus."
     "Gum . . . shoe? You wish the title of Gum-shoe?"
     "Um, I guess not. That would take too much explaining."
     "Then Shamus. It has a more proper, noble bearing to its sound than the others."
     I was about to protest again, but nodded, "That'll be fine."
     "Then kneel, Sam Flynn. I dub thee Shamus of the Realm."
     Better than gumshoe.