Most semesters I can motivate myself to engage and immerse myself in the teaching. I genuinely like teaching. I enjoy it when students understand concepts and begin to look at their world with a more critical viewpoint. I love seeing their eyes open when they truly understand. So it’s generally easy to start out motivated. What happens later is not the subject of this post.
However, this semester has been tougher. I can’t quite do it. I feel like I’m going through the motions more. I’m at a distance, and part of me really likes the idea of being at that distance. I’m quickly able to rationalize it as necessary because I want to keep writing, but it’s also disturbing.
I don’t want to turn into one of those apathetic professors I had in school. We all know the kind. They read out of the textbook or simply lectured the entire time without making eye contact with a single student. The ones where questions were, if not forbidden, strictly taboo as they broke the professor's pace.
I’m not there yet. I know that, but how many slippery slopes until I am?