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Friday, March 22, 2013

F3 History Lesson

            The sound of a horn rang across the quad, followed by the bellows of students who surged forward into the Student Union, Viking Helmets prominent on their heads as they brandished plastic swords and axes. Other students quickly jumped out of the way, only to be symbolically cut down by the plastic weapons.

            The leader, a man bearing both sword and shield with particularly long horns on his helmet bellowed in triumphant fury, driving his student-warriors forward. There they laid waste to the shops inside, pillaging the snack store, the pizza parlor, and the burger stand for supplies.
            A small cadre of shieldmaidens surrounded some of the jocks, then seized them roughly, kissing them thoroughly before taking up their share of the spoils.
            When the warriors had taken all they could carry, the horn rang out again, signaling the end of the raid. The warriors ran back, the leader moving before them with a woman thrown over his shoulder. They ran back into one building, and into the classroom where they had originated.
            Once there, the leader put down the woman he carried and removed his helmet, handing it to her. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, saying “Thanks, dear.” She accepted kiss and helmet with a smile. He threw off the shaggy cloak he wore to reveal a shirt and tie.
            “And that, class, is a Viking raid, and the life of Viking warriors. Now enjoy the spoils. Except for our shieldmaidens, who should let their prisoners go.”
            “We did,” one said, “but they don’t want to leave.”
            “I’m joining up, too,” the professor’s wife said, donning the helmet.
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